the worst is having a dream where someone loves you and you can practically feel them touching you and it feels so real and then you wake up and it’s like the life is being sucked out of you and the happiness just drains out of your body and you feel empty again
What the hell kind of dog is this, and where can I get one?
MICHAEL. WE. NEED. ONE.
im in one of those ‘cuddle up with someone and watch a lame movie while i kiss their neck and casually take off their pants’ mood
this girl ripped her galaxy leggings today and i couldnt stop laughing because there was a rip in the fabric of space
until this year of high school i always laughed at these because i thought they were inaccurate, they are not. they are not at all inaccurate.
THE MIDDLE ONE. Omg.
American public school in one post
this is literally the most accurate thing ever. i have said all of these things
I have literally heard someone seriously say the last one in an english class, about a test.
there is no doubt in my mind that i’m going to end up being that mom that cuts her children’s own hair.
smooth motherfucker strikes again
Every woman has mastered this. We are actually born with this skill.
You level up when you can do it with long sleeves
I was the only girl on an all-boys varsity soccer team. I had to change on the bus during away games because I didn’t have a locker room at other schools. I was not uncomfortable with that, actually. I did what I had to.
But one day I noticed that like three guys who were seniors were just staring at me as I did this and I must have shot them a dirty look because one of them (who is actually a family friend) was like “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to stare, but we’re still trying to figure out how the hell girls do that” and I just felt bad. They just want to get their girlfriend’s bra off without losing an eye and we can remove the whole thing like fucking wizards
i told my mom about this post and she went ‘wait, you can do it with long sleeves? um, i’ll be right back’